under the pressure of great expectations i have chosen to deliver something minor. two pages of my pocket sketchbook.  the magenta and grays are from before. red and green after.

came and went and i did nothing to earn it

london is always sad and dangerous

even when i’m not drunk.

i stuck a chewed wad of gum

between the folds of a map

that once led me to you.

see,  i started a list, but it turns out

the places i’ve been

- i haven’t been.

may i never say yes again.

it is a burning yearning

may this ride never end.

been doing some cleaning and sorting of old shit and i came across my notebooks from high school. this is what i did for four years. can anyone say obsessive compulsive?

goldfish swimming beneath the floorboards, swimming between my ears. i once swam there for two weeks straight, turning off san benito de palermo to libertador. yo soy un pez.

(click on the photo)

i once flew to toronto by way of new york just because there was a rumor that leonard cohen was going to be playing at the illuminata festival. i soon realized it was going to be some kind of avant garde philip glass production. i still went with the hope that he would participate, somehow be on stage, or even just the thought that he would be in the audience. it took me a song and a half to realize i’d better get out of there. i was depressed and disappointed. i had come so far for beauty… maybe that’s why when i heard he was finally actually really going on tour, i didn’t go all out trying to be there. i missed the toronto concerts, so this left europe. i wasn’t sure i was up for the effort and the expense. then o. said – you will never remember what you did with those 300$. just go. so we did.

saturday at westerpark in amsterdam left me speechless. the location was perfect,
our timing was perfect (i got to be first in line! stood as close to the stage as was physically possible) leonard cohen was perfect. he ran on to stage (he’s almost 74!) looking wonderful. you know the look justin timberlake is trying? the suits? the hats? leonard invented that look. his voice, his smile, his powerful presence and the way he shares the stage and the credit with his musicians and vocalists. he’s my man.

hang in there you guys!

tell me shifra- do you work for the mosad? have you ever hypnotized anyone? why did you paint your room such a dark color? why did you take the smallest room? you’re a saint. isn’t she a saint? shifra, can i give you a couple of paintings to put up on your walls? oh, i see. i understand. do you need pillows? i have a couple of really good ones. ah. okay. when things go wrong on the plane – does the pilot ask you to make the announcement? your hand writing isn’t clear enough. i say this out of concern for your best interests. do you smoke? i think we need three guarantors this year. why? umm… because you’re all sisters. are you wearing contact lenses? you must be. i remember you with glasses. that’s a nice haircut! every time i see you you’re different. where do you see yourself in the history of the jewish people? say hi to your blond sister. i hope someday to meet your father.

sitting on the beach in tel aviv, i don’t know if i’m north or south. it’s after four, and i’ve oh-dee’d (indeed) on sunscreen. still i’m secretly hoping to catch a tan. the beach chairman lets us have four for the price of three. it’s amazing how far a well designed bikini top will get you. we brought cold beer but we didn’t bring a bottle opener. we eat cold watermelon. smoke too many cigarettes. a. looks at the sky. he knows the cmyk values for every shade of blue. i’m learning to love the sand on my skin and maybe the sun isn’t my enemy after all. i recognize the planes crossing the shoreline, 2 minutes to landing. for the moment i’m glad to be down here.