_signing a contract (a conversation i really had with my landlord)

tell me shifra- do you work for the mosad? have you ever hypnotized anyone? why did you paint your room such a dark color? why did you take the smallest room? you’re a saint. isn’t she a saint? shifra, can i give you a couple of paintings to put up on your walls? oh, i see. i understand. do you need pillows? i have a couple of really good ones. ah. okay. when things go wrong on the plane – does the pilot ask you to make the announcement? your hand writing isn’t clear enough. i say this out of concern for your best interests. do you smoke? i think we need three guarantors this year. why? umm… because you’re all sisters. are you wearing contact lenses? you must be. i remember you with glasses. that’s a nice haircut! every time i see you you’re different. where do you see yourself in the history of the jewish people? say hi to your blond sister. i hope someday to meet your father.

_spf 25

sitting on the beach in tel aviv, i don’t know if i’m north or south. it’s after four, and i’ve oh-dee’d (indeed) on sunscreen. still i’m secretly hoping to catch a tan. the beach chairman lets us have four for the price of three. it’s amazing how far a well designed bikini top will get you. we brought cold beer but we didn’t bring a bottle opener. we eat cold watermelon. smoke too many cigarettes. a. looks at the sky. he knows the cmyk values for every shade of blue. i’m learning to love the sand on my skin and maybe the sun isn’t my enemy after all. i recognize the planes crossing the shoreline, 2 minutes to landing. for the moment i’m glad to be down here.

_i’m just a fruit(cake)

a whole case of plums rolling down bezalel street in jerusalem.

right under my house. it’s a pleach.

_cdr-y785

i found this playing card in the street (emek refa’im, jerusalem), do any of you guys speak arabic? what does it say? i’m so curious!

_click on the image then enlarge it

1.it started with me being a bit under the weather

2. didn’t get enough sleep

3. speeded (spad? drove speedily?)

4. direct result of my ears popping out of their sockets

5. that i am – didn’t call in sick at this point

6. started pressurizing the cabin

7. were crying

8. me undress from the waist up (really necessary?!)

9. office for 40 min.

10. me a whole bunch of crap

11. this is not a list. i just wanted to make this dense block of text easier

12. to read

_kiwi

today at westside market. i also saw a grape. it’s a fucking goldmine!

(i was sick in bed for three days. this is about all the excitement i got) (well, other than i.’s office party) (oh, and shopping my ass off with e.) (okay, i suck)

_capricorn moon

you never know until you know

_my new box of crayons

_elswhere

_post post

i love hearing britney spears in a street market in bangkok. i love britney spears. i love tall buildings and fast trains and airplanes. i love being in three continents in one week. i love china town. i love n.y. the internet. wikipedia. spell check. i love t.v. and v.o.d. and i love coming soon to a theater near you. i love my ipod. my camera. i love my blog.